Saturday, January 31, 2009

Speaking of shit...

Jeanne tagged me with this meme, but I’m a tad bit behind in my reading so I got it and then had to come up with some shit, um trivia, about myself. I'm not my favorite topic, but here goes:

1 – I lived with a guy who was a compulsive liar. I’m really independent, but it got so bad I moved back in with my parents (which I swore I would NEVER do.) Moving my things into their house, I broke down in tears of relief, to be away from that psycho and to realize that my parents really would take me back, no matter what shit my mom said when I was a teenager.

2 – I was in the choir in school. But I can’t sing at all. I actually got cut off singing karaoke. I tell people it was because the bar was closing.

3 – I took my drivers test the same morning that we left for a cross country trip to visit my great-aunt in Oregon. My dad made me drive through Chicago that night, I still haven’t forgiven him.

4 – My husband of 11 years and I knew each other for 5 months when we got married. And yet none of those betting bastards have paid me a dime.

5 – I was one of only 2 seniors in my high school graduating class that actually took the offered second year of computer programming.

6 – My paternal grandparents divorced when that was a no-no. Actually this is two things. My grandmother left him and the 5 kids and ended up doing time in Marysville’s women’s prison for child abandonment.

7 – Then my grandpa and she said whoever outlived the other was pissing on the dead one’s grave. Grandma was riddled with cancer and had no idea who or where she was. Grandpa died in the night about two months before her. She had no clue. So no one’s grave got pissed on. As bonus trivia – she lived in Denver so I really only saw her maybe 5 times in my life. If I’d been to her grave the one time I was in Denver I might have pissed on her grave for Grandpa Francis.
8 – I think my mom used to ruin my clothes in the laundry so I’d do my own. For cripes sake, she was a stay at home mom on top of it and I was 12 when this started. Eventually my little sister (7 years younger) would want me to wash her stuff. She wouldn’t turn anything right side out. So it got washed, dried and returned that way. Hey, at least I didn’t shrink or bleach her shit.

9 – My maternal great-grandparents lived next to a pig farm. In the typical little-girl way, I was fascinated with animals. But all of my second cousins would tell me to stay away from the fence, that the pigs bite. I’m still a little wary of pigs, but I love me some bacon.

Ok, you didn’t designate a number and I think that’s enough over sharing for now. I'm not tagging anyone (yet) not because I don't want to but because I'm short on time.


  1. Nobody tells you pigs got my son in the thigh, and we had to sew it back up because I was out in the boonies and no doctor around...we still tease him for screaming "Im gonna die, I'm gonna die"...I love the other stuff you wrote!

  2. I'm a grown man and still don't want to drive through Chicago...

  3. This is great stuff! I don't remember ever hearing about psycho-liar. One good thing about terrible early relationships -- they really make you appreciate the guy you have now.

  4. I love these lists. They make you think and are interesting to read. You definitely have just scratched the surface. I know there is more to come....

  5. This is what blogging is all about: finding out the nitty gritty of a person's life. Sounds like your paternal grandparents really didn't like each other. Great stuff!

  6. One of the greatest things about blogging is that you get to read about other people's lives..and everybody has a story.

    It's amazing how much I can read into what & how you're saying. Life is bizrre and complicated, that;s why nobody gets out alive. Most of us were dealt ridiculous hands but somehow we bluff and hold 'em close to our vests and manage to stay in the game.

    What I love about blogging is that brave people like you show us your cards and we feel connected.

    Thank You.

  7. HC, I found your hilariously funny blog via the japing ape. I am now a big fan.
    Best Regards!

  8. Chef E - Get out! And this whole time I thought they were just screwing with me.

    Buff - Worse yet, do you want to drive through Chicago with a 16 year old that JUST got their license? I scared the crap out of myself.

    Jeanne - Actually, now that I can laugh about it he provides some good material.

    Jan - And I thought I could just be superficial and cheap on here.

    Eryl - I'm glad they lived half the country away from each other.

    HE - It is strange, I feel like I know a lot of people in this world better than people I've worked with for 10 years (and like more of them too!)

    gaf - Welcome aboard! Who knows what you'll find here.

  9. I was going to write a comment then got sidetracked by Jan's line, "...I love these lists. They make you think and are interesting to read." I thought she wrote "...they make you think you are interesting to read." I'm still laughing.... :)))