I hope I’m not the only one that has this complaint. Actually, I know I can’t be because I spend a lot of time at the softball fields with Captain Clueless’ family and friends and I know it becomes a weird competition between the guys because I’ve heard them going through different phrases and laughing. What is it about men that they need to announce their need to take a shit, and the euphemisms they have for it? Honestly, I manage to do “number two” without having to tell everyone where I’m going and what I intend on doing. I really don’t need to know that’s where you’re going. Hell, I probably won’t even notice you’re gone for at least 30 minutes.
If you don’t want to admit it, I’m calling bullshit. Here’s the most frequent list that I am subjected to. Feel free to add the ones you have to deal with.
- Taking the kiddies to the pool
- Putting a roof on a log cabin
- I gotta drop a deuce
- I'm taking the browns to the super bowl
- I gotta take a(n) (insert name here) and wipe my (insert another name here)
Oh, and when you’re done, I do not need to know that you’re 5 pounds lighter.