1. I download both mine and my husband’s ipod music on my PC. None of the Kelly Clarkson is mine. Neither is the Shania Twain. Draw your own conclusions.
2. I lie about watching Oprah. You know, when the girls are all talking about ‘Oh, you’re so lucky when you work from home you can watch Oprah’ or ‘Did you see the Oprah episode about countries that love fat women?’ I nod and smile. Hell, I can remember her talk show on TV when I was young enough to earn my income from babysitting. Besides, she is on at the same time as Ellen. And Ellen friggin' cracks me up.
3. If my dog needed a kidney and I was a match, I would give it to him.
4. If I stopped highlighting my hair I would have a large swath of gray front and slightly off center. So I will never stop highlighting, and come on, everyone knows in the movies the woman with the streak of gray hair in her bangs is a total psycho bitch.
5. I play Grand Theft Auto. I haven’t yet whipped out a gak and started blowing people away but that might be because I don’t have a gak. Also the newest one is really annoying because by the time you beat down 2 random people on the street and take their money the cops are all over your ass.
6. When I was younger I was so skinny that people joked about my hip bones sticking out farther than my boobs. Now I'm just trying to keep my stomach from sticking out farther than my boobs.
7. I cuss like a sailor. My friends are amazed that while at work I can somehow censor out all of the fucks but when I’m around their kids they keep slipping out. I’m trying, really. Maybe they should make their kids carry around blackberry’s and dress in suits…
8. I’ve seen KISS in concert twice. Once with make-up and once without (them. I was made up like a total slut.) And I think I actually remembered the words to 3 of their songs.
9. I love horror movies. The really scary, gory ones. After seeing The Ring, The Grudge and Bogeyman that PG-13 shit is banned in my household.
10. I am the coolest person I know. My husband thinks he is the coolest person I know. And that’s just one of the many reasons he is so lovably clueless.
Whew, that was tough. I think I need a drink...