Thursday, January 15, 2009

F@#$%$! up the rules again

I got this lovely award from Debra. I was supposed to list 10 honest (ah hem) things about myself and pass the award on to 7 others. Now, I don't have all that many contacts in the blogger community yet. So you're gettin' the list and if anyone else wants to participate feel free to steal it here and pass it on. Is this against blog etiquette? Is there blog etiquette? Here's a honest freebie for you, I wouldn't care if there was...

1. I download both mine and my husband’s ipod music on my PC. None of the Kelly Clarkson is mine. Neither is the Shania Twain. Draw your own conclusions.

2. I lie about watching Oprah. You know, when the girls are all talking about ‘Oh, you’re so lucky when you work from home you can watch Oprah’ or ‘Did you see the Oprah episode about countries that love fat women?’ I nod and smile. Hell, I can remember her talk show on TV when I was young enough to earn my income from babysitting. Besides, she is on at the same time as Ellen. And Ellen friggin' cracks me up.

3. If my dog needed a kidney and I was a match, I would give it to him.

4. If I stopped highlighting my hair I would have a large swath of gray front and slightly off center. So I will never stop highlighting, and come on, everyone knows in the movies the woman with the streak of gray hair in her bangs is a total psycho bitch.

5. I play Grand Theft Auto. I haven’t yet whipped out a gak and started blowing people away but that might be because I don’t have a gak. Also the newest one is really annoying because by the time you beat down 2 random people on the street and take their money the cops are all over your ass.

6. When I was younger I was so skinny that people joked about my hip bones sticking out farther than my boobs. Now I'm just trying to keep my stomach from sticking out farther than my boobs.

7. I cuss like a sailor. My friends are amazed that while at work I can somehow censor out all of the fucks but when I’m around their kids they keep slipping out. I’m trying, really. Maybe they should make their kids carry around blackberry’s and dress in suits…

8. I’ve seen KISS in concert twice. Once with make-up and once without (them. I was made up like a total slut.) And I think I actually remembered the words to 3 of their songs.

9. I love horror movies. The really scary, gory ones. After seeing The Ring, The Grudge and Bogeyman that PG-13 shit is banned in my household.

10. I am the coolest person I know. My husband thinks he is the coolest person I know. And that’s just one of the many reasons he is so lovably clueless.

Whew, that was tough. I think I need a drink...


  1. I think you are cool too. Good job. And I am keeping the scale. It got me motivated again in the worst part of the winter and that is pretty good. I have lost about 3 pounds since I brought that sucker home.

  2. Girl - you totally rocked it! I knew you would ;-) Number 3 was my favorite. Sounds like you love your pup as much as I do mine!
    I have the opposite potty mouth problem. I am bad at work, but very PG at home. Guess I am so not prosessional. lol

  3. I think we could be...friends...I am passing a drink over to ya! and break them scales, they just take up wanted space in my bathroom...good job,and now someone passed that new darn game on to me, and will be funny to read every ones 'gansta name, lol

  4. You are COOL...and I totally understand about the hip bones and boobs, but I think I've lost the battle(not that I won't quit fighting)

  5. Thanks for the peek into the real you! Loved it.

  6. Jeez, I think I just learned more about you in one read than I have over the past 10 years....

  7. A real blog from a real person. I am so glad I found you!

  8. Thanks for sharing! Two ways to grow old- gracefully or otherwise.... Sucks, but ther you are!

  9. Jan - good for you. You actually guilted me into getting on the elliptical at least once this week.

    Debra - ah well, we do what we can.

    Chef E - thanks for the drink. We do seem to have a lot in common, except that you cook much better (and frequently) than I.

    WW - I think the bra burners would be ashamed at all the spandexy figure enhancers my generation is keeping in business.

    CWC - I am good at making fun of myself.

    Jeanne - If you had only known!

    Anne - welcome aboard!

    BD - I have yet to find a single thing graceful about getting old. But I will keep trying!