Monday, January 12, 2009

Ass Drag Monday

Ok, it's Monday and I'm wiped. I was going to try to come up with something witty, but my brain isn't up to it.

I considered taking a picture of my self-pedicure from Saturday night so you all could get a laugh out of that and guess at how many rum's I had before I finished. However, I was afraid some perv would self-pleasure to the sight of my feet which then really creeped me out and I scrapped the idea. And no, I still haven't cleaned up the mess I made of my toes. Hell, I won't be wearing sandals for months.

So (if I can actually read the writing on this damn recipe) - you are getting these 'super easy' (according to my SIL who cooks AND cleans AND has a toddler AND a job. Really, I thought I liked her but upon further consideration she may need to get a bitchy nickname,)

Apple Dumplings:

2 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, quartered
2 cans crescent rolls
2 sticks butter
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 cups sugar
6 oz can of Mt. Dew*

Butter 9x13 pan
Roll up apple slice in each crescent, put in pan
Melt butter on stove, pour in sugar. Barely stir together. Add vanilla, don't over stir (should be lumpy & grainy)
Pour mixture over dumplings
Pour Mt Dew around edges and center of pan
Sprinkle w/ cinnamon
Bake @ 350 for 30-45 minutes.

*I know there is no such thing as a freaking 6 oz can of Mt. Dew. I used to drink it by the six pack before I switched to Bud Light. For those of you who need help, 6 oz is 3/4 cup.

Also, 30-45 minutes is a pretty big window. Were they allowing for elevation differences between Ohio and Indiana? I guess if they start to turn a nice brown then take them out. I did eat one over at little-miss-perfect's house, with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and it was good. They are small, and the fact that I could have eaten the whole pan but I only had 1 means that I didn't ruin my diet. Right??

p.s. To all you lurkers, stop trying to figure out who I am. I will never fess up!


  1. I say that is one good semi-homemade dish and I will try it! Go ahead and post that pick, it could not be any funnier than the text picture I sent our one night after a few drinks of mine, and my hubby just now opened it up a month later...with a voice over saying 'sweetie...come down stairs', he was in the office when I sent it!

    You can be all the anonymous you

  2. Ass drag monday is an excellent way to put it. Hopefully Tuesday goes better.

  3. Love it -- apple dumplings with attitude! I've never seen this recipe with Mt. Dew so it's going on top of my very large to-try-real-soon pile. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Pedicure? Last time I cut my toe nails, I got more skin than nail...

  5. Ugh, you got Mountain Dew in my apples. You got APPLES in my Mountain Dew!

  6. Now that's my kind of cooking!

  7. You are so funny! And cannot wait to try the recipe.

    I left an award for you on my blog! ;-)