Friday, February 27, 2009

Bitchy or funny, you decide

I am alive. Barely. At a time when I'm sporting the latest virus I also have 3 new projects dumped on me so have been working crazy hours. By the time I got home and scrounged up some grub, I just wanted to relax. And what happens, fucking phone rings off the hook.

I'm known to enter the random contest or two, so this is the strategy I've started using when charities, sales people, or (wtf?) survey takers call and invade my peace and quiet.

Hoodchick: "Hello"

Annoying caller: "Hi, is Mrs. Hoodchick home?"

Hoodchick: "Why, did I win something?"

AC: "Uhh. Umm. No, but..."

Hoodchick: "If you're not calling to tell me I've won something, then I'm not interested."

AC: (usually with a nervous chuckle) "Well, I'm calling about..."

Hoodchick (interrupting) "Seriously. I'm. not. interested." click

Captain Clueless can't believe I do this. He thinks it's totally bitchy. But he's the guy that picks up and immediately disconnects when a call is from an unknown number. And they just call back later.

Now I'm off to mix beer with antibiotics, and catch up on my blog reading (it's ok, it's lite beer.)


  1. Oh....I like your stratedgy, Chick! We have called ID, so if we don't know the number we don't answer. Your way is much better! Lately they have been calling at 8:50. What the hell??

  2. Lol...antibiotics and beer, eh? Okaaaaay :)) Let me know how that goes.

    I'm trying to download the cow ads now. I hope it works but my line is hopeless. Regardless, I've bookmarked it and in 2 wks when I go to a big fat broadband in NZ, I'll be watching it....thanks for sending it, sounds hilarious...

  3. I literally never answer my land line for that exact reason. I only have one b/c I have DSL and TIvo otherwise I'd get rid of it.

  4. I was just calling to say there could be a hidden danger in yer fridge......... details at 11.

  5. We get calls constantly, starting at 9 am and ending around 9 pm. Drives me nuts! I've started telling them that I'm the cleaning lady. You're right to sending them waltzing.
    Get well soon,

  6. Same here if the phone voice (yeah phones talk which blows me away) and it says caller unknown I do not even get up off my rear to walk in and look at caller cell phone, I only give out that number to important people, lol, I dread the day when sales people call that one...

    Feel better Hoodchick!

  7. Totally appropriate.

    You should try..
    "No I'm sorry he passed away last week and we're all quite devastated" or "Crime Scene Forensics, Vick speaking" or "Bienvenue/Hello Revenue Canada" or "Youporn, Auditions" or "Jehovah's Witness home visitation planning how may we help you?"

  8. That is an awesome line. I am totally stealing it.

  9. I get calls at my flat from people wanting to book hair appointments. I'm tied of explaining that I'm not running a hair salon and just arrange an appointment for them.

  10. I hate my landline phone. All the calls are annoying and I don't answer it most of the time, especially when the caller id says, "Telemarketer". Some days I don't even listen to my messages on that phone. If it was someone I know they would call my cell. Anyway, I don't blame your response to those calls and I hope you are feeling better. I had some horrible virus last January of 2008 and I'm still complaining about it. I feel your pain.

  11. It's a big deal if I answer the home phone at all. Everyone I know has my cell phone number..

  12. I used to have a number that was close to a Domino's number. Eventually I just started taking pizza orders because I was sick of them getting pissy with me because they couldn't dial the damn phone.

    I only keep my land line because of DirecTV. I need to get a phone/answering machine combo that I can actually turn the ringer OFF. Or tell DirecTV to stick their phone line where the sun don't shine.