Friday, March 20, 2009

Treading on Your Bush Rights

When you think of New Jersey a few things come to mind. Attitude, accents and big hair. Although I think the southern states (particularly Texas) have been giving NJ a run for the big hair title. I recently read an article that Jersey is considering a ban on Brazilian waxing. It seems that two women were hospitalized for infections after receiving their Brazilians.

Everyone knows that when you remove hair – especially down there – you have a risk of ingrown hairs, rashes, and who knows what else. Any woman that goes in to get her who-ha waxed and expects not to suffer probably deserves what she gets.

The fact that the State Board of Cosmetology is considering a ban, after just 2 complaints seems a little fishy (I know, I said fishy, hahaha!) Can you imagine being in a salon, all spread eagled with those strips pressed against your privates when SWAT bursts in during a raid? How humiliating. If they think the original law suits were bad, wait until a personal injury lawyer gets a hold of this.

Brazilian junkies will be traveling to neighboring states to get their anti-bush fix. Who does that help? Not the New Jersey business owners. Will the police start patrolling the Jersey shore looking for ladies with bikini bottoms that lie just a little too flat?

5 0: “Excuse me ma’am, are you a resident of the state?”

NJ Broad: “What’s it fuckin’ ta ya asshole?”

5 0: “Obviously you are. It’s come to our attention that you may be just a little too smooth down there. We’ll need you to come with us.”

I’m sure this is just the beginning. First, they’ll outlaw bush waxing. Next will come a ban on flat irons. I mean, how many ladies are getting burns that lead to infections from those damn things. Then, do you know how many people have scalp burns from the harsh chemicals in those hair straightening kits? It all sounds like a conspiracy to regain their big hair title.


  1. Not for nothing but I think this whole movement is being funded by the Laser Hair Removal Society of New Joisey. Talk about Government intrusion LOL

  2. The shaven cha-cha is bad medicine, as Squaw Crazy Whore once said.

  3. I think they are selling those used wax strips as doormats
    ***eyes doormat suspiciously***

  4. I am well, speechless...As a former hairdresser, big hair Texas, and wax was my top money making are too did I miss this in the news! That is why I am a chef now you know, I had one to many wax sessions in my day and the color fumes got to me :), or was it the woman who asked me to wax her ta ta's?

  5. Oh my God. I have no words. This was HILARIOUS! haha

  6. My goodness.

    I'd happy sell my right to a that kind of wax job. Any takers?

  7. Oh this was funny! Whe I saw the title I thought it was going to be a rant about President Bush. Ha,ha!

  8. P.S. my word verification for the last comment was likers. LOL

    I don't "likers" to have my cat waxed! I will stick to dull razors. hee,hee....

  9. I tried waxing my bikini area once (at home). By the time the broken blood vessels healed, I was back to my original length. As for Brazilians -- if the Geneva Convention can't stop it, what hope does New Jersey have?

  10. I am a waxer though not a Brazilian waxer. If I had more money I would engage in Laser hair removal. I was traumatized by the excessive hairiness of the 70's. ICK!

  11. Stranded - Good point, I never considered those Laser weilding bastards were probably in on the deal.

    GB - Squaw Crazy Whore sounds like a wise woman.

    Beast - Now that you mention it **suspiciously eyes own doormat**

    Chef E - A lady hairy enough to need ta-ta waxing would make me rethink my career path.

  12. Crazy - Only in Jersey.

    K - Doing your part to stimulate the economy I see.

    Debra - Hahaha

    Jeanne - are you out of your freakin' mind? I tried the home stuff on my legs first. No way was that stuff getting near my sensitive parts.

    Comedy Goddess - I'm tramatized by excessive hairy-ness every single day. Damn German genes.

  13. I had no idea where you were going with the title of this! I have nothing to contribute but it was interesting to say the least!!! Sounds painful. UH oh, I contributed against my better judgment.

  14. I was amazed by that story as well. I don't think what people wish to do to their hoo hahs is really of concern to the state of NJ.

  15. Don't ya just love people telling you how to live your life? While I may not be into things like waxings, piercings and tatoos, it seems to me that the authorities need to stay out of it.

    Our messhalls here in Kabul recently started an "eggs only cooked hard" kick. WTF? Who are you to tell me I'm not allowed to eat an over-easy egg?