Treading on Your Bush Rights

When you think of New Jersey a few things come to mind. Attitude, accents and big hair. Although I think the southern states (particularly Texas) have been giving NJ a run for the big hair title. I recently read an article that Jersey is considering a ban on Brazilian waxing. It seems that two women were hospitalized for infections after receiving their Brazilians.

Everyone knows that when you remove hair – especially down there – you have a risk of ingrown hairs, rashes, and who knows what else. Any woman that goes in to get her who-ha waxed and expects not to suffer probably deserves what she gets.

The fact that the State Board of Cosmetology is considering a ban, after just 2 complaints seems a little fishy (I know, I said fishy, hahaha!) Can you imagine being in a salon, all spread eagled with those strips pressed against your privates when SWAT bursts in during a raid? How humiliating. If they think the original law suits were bad, wait until a personal injury lawyer gets a hold of this.

Brazilian junkies will be traveling to neighboring states to get their anti-bush fix. Who does that help? Not the New Jersey business owners. Will the police start patrolling the Jersey shore looking for ladies with bikini bottoms that lie just a little too flat?

5 0: “Excuse me ma’am, are you a resident of the state?”

NJ Broad: “What’s it fuckin’ ta ya asshole?”

5 0: “Obviously you are. It’s come to our attention that you may be just a little too smooth down there. We’ll need you to come with us.”

I’m sure this is just the beginning. First, they’ll outlaw bush waxing. Next will come a ban on flat irons. I mean, how many ladies are getting burns that lead to infections from those damn things. Then, do you know how many people have scalp burns from the harsh chemicals in those hair straightening kits? It all sounds like a conspiracy to regain their big hair title.