Monday, June 1, 2009

Ass Drag Monday - Bonus Edition

I took a "staycation" last week. Frugal is the new cool, right? Or whatever the cool word for cool is. Anyway, I haven't had a real vacation in 8 years so I'm like Amelia Earhart. Prince. The Sham Wow! (That would be ahead of my time, you bunch of smart asses.)

Why don't I go on vacation? Because we don't want to kennel the dog. I'm not going into all the reasons and details, but sometimes life with a 120 pound dog (who hates other dogs with the exception of my in-laws Rott) can be a challenge. So the summer before last I decided that if I wasn't going to a place with a beach or pool then By God I was bringing a pool to myself.

Last weeks list of activities went something like this:
Clean pool
Lay by pool
Clean house (only because company was coming and saying "clean house" is really a lie - it was more like clean kitchen, bath and living rooms and shut all the other doors.)
Drink by pool with friends
Lay on float in pool nursing hangover
See a softball game
Drink by pool (alone. Which is NOT a sign of alcoholism because it was by a pool.)
Meet friends for lunch
Float in pool
See a softball game - this one is notable because there was a BEER TRUCK!
Accidentally sleep until 11am
Weed a flower bed
Recuperate by floating in pool with a drink
And repeat

Ok, there were also dog walks most mornings - early because for some reason it was already 80 friggin degrees around here last week.

Needless to say, going back to work this morning sucked. Big time. First I had to get out of bed before the sun came up. Then I had to deal with the *deep, calming breath allowing me to not type a string of swear words here* construction zone traffic.

And when I get to the shit hole place that pays my bills, my friends, (I don't have many, so I use that word very loosely) decided to entertain themselves last week by shrink wrapping my desk. Yes, they even remembered to do the scissors.

My poor brain was in so much shock I forgot to take pictures of it before I started the clean up. The thing that almost sent me over the edge was seeing my poor tube of chapstick mummified by all those layers of plastic. Plaaaastic *just went back into vacation land remembering the smell of the new plastic floats*


  1. It's damn fun to work in a place where they have time to not work and do that to your desk, isn't it?

    By fun, I mean not really. Because there is no drinking nor pools. Really, work is just like the crappy stuff Prince releases now, come to think of it. Lots of hype, but mostly sucky.

  2. Well, it must mean you are are loved. :)

    I can definitely empathize on the dog thing. We've got two and they hate the kennel. Luckily, or unluckily depending upon the precise situation, my wife's parents live with us and they take care of the doggies when we go somewhere.

  3. Hard to go back to work after all that time at the pool. And drinking.

  4. Let me hazard a guess as to the identity of the shrink-wrap perp: would the initials be JIW? And he's probably still laughing his ass off....

    At least he didn't gift you with 40 pounds of chocolate!

  5. Mondays suck bad enough, but a Monday after a week off is just damn depressing! Hope your week went a little better. ;-)

  6. We are the same way... Our dog has never been in a kennel, son must come over if it is overnight..I treat that dog better than people, because she acts better than people...

  7. Can I come and live with you. I'm not cleaning the pool, but I will float in it.

  8. i agree! drinking by the pool alone does not mean you are an alcoholic, there was a pool involved!