America, Home of the Malcontent

I spent some time yesterday doing what the majority of the free world was – filling out my March Madness bracket. I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not really a huge fan of basketball, college or pro. My husband and I always take these first two tournament days off, mostly I spring clean. He’ll be watching the championship run non-stop so I figure I might as well have some fun even if I don’t know much of shit about the teams.

Let me say now that I filled mine out on my own time, at home and on my own computer. I’m not judging those that did theirs on the clock or on their employer’s equipment, just saying that I did not.

I had heard that Barack (hey – I voted for him so I figure that puts us on a first name basis) was going to fill out a bracket on the air on ESPN. I thought this was pretty cool, that we have a president hip enough to care about March Madness and fun enough to share his picks with the rest of us. His picks were bound to piss off some schools which would have been enough to keep a lesser man mum on the subject. Let’s face it though, only one team will win and the rest of them should just suck it up and stop with the whining already. I’m sure his picks weren’t any more personal (or prophetic) than the picks made by the thousands of “sports analysts” that have been going on and on about this for weeks. And it’s not like he threw in an 8 billion dollar bet on the outcome.

Being the keen observer of human nature that I am, I knew it would just be a matter before some curmudgeon put their foot in it. But even I was momentarily stunned when it came from Duke’s own Coach K. As soon as I heard it I knew the shit was going to hit the fan. Sure enough, message boards, blogs, even CNN is abuzz with the fallout from this comment:
"Somebody said that we're not in President Obama's Final Four, and as much as I respect what he's doing, really, the economy is something that he should focus on, probably more than the brackets," Krzyzewski told a reporter from the Associated Press on Wednesday.

What a brilliant insight. I’m sure that President Obama should be focused 24/7 on fixing all the fucked up problems in the US. Maybe he should budget a few grand for Depends so he doesn’t have to bother with pesky bathroom breaks. And he can be hooked up to some of those nutrition bags that deliver all your dietary needs intravenously so he won’t need time to eat. I mean, how dare he take a moment to do something frivolous that might give himself and some others 5 minutes of enjoyment.

This same thing happens in the work place. We recently had a bowling tournament between departments. At lunch time the groups went to the local alley and bowled against each other. It was fun. It was good for morale. But of course we had people who sat in their cubicles with their mouths screwed up so tight they looked like puckered assholes, saying things like “I can’t believe everyone is wasting their time bowling. There so much work that needs to be done.” I’m sorry, but you’re not so important that the entire company will implode if you’re not there for an hour and half. Hell, you don’t bother to drag your sorry ass into the office until 9:30 every day. We’re all salary. And we all bust our humps a hell of a lot more than 40 hours a week. We don’t need your stick-in-the-ass attitude. And we don’t need Coach K’s either.

Exactly what is Coach K doing to help this country? He’s an educated, wealthy man. But his entire life’s work is around coaching a FUCKING GAME. Maybe he should wake the fuck up and get a real job that actually does something to lift the US out of the giant shit hole it’s immersed in. Otherwise he should just shut his pie hole and keep enjoying his millions while the rest of us hard working Americans get ulcers about job security, crappy medical care and disappearing retirement funds. And hope we might win $50 on the outcome, because that $50 might mean we can buy groceries or diapers or medicine.

Gray skies are going to clear up...

I'm trying so damn hard to be in a good mood, but the world is conspiring against me.

Yesterday I woke up and thought, yes! I only have 7 more days with these temps on my teeth, I have a hair appointment tonight, and AND Plum Spooky finally came in. I was only 169th on the reservation list at the library. Patience is not my forte. If it hadn't been one of the risky 'between the numbers' books I would have bought it last year instead of waiting.

This is what happened.

Wednesday we had a team vs. team lunch-n-bowl scheduled. I’m not much of a bowler, except on the Wii. I felt bad because only 3 of my other team mates showed up, so I actually gave it a try. I rolled a fucking 50 something. My team lost by about 19 pins. The bad part was, as I was carefully tearing apart and eating my chicken fingers (gotta love bowling alley food) somehow I tore loose one side of my temps. I quickly pressed it back on. So far it’s held, but I’m thinking I might not make it until next Wednesday without some repair work. (I didn’t feel bad about my score. Really, I warned them about my lack of skill.)

So, I left work to head to the salon. The disaster area they call I-75 was its usual mess, and I was afraid I’d be late. I finally got through the jam and was flying along thinking, at least I didn’t run anyone over. But if I do, I’m following this example:
Published - Jan 17 2009 06:53AM EST AP
An elderly woman in Palm Beach County crashed with her vehicle into a man on a scooter and then kept driving to make her hair appointment, police said.
Louise Davidson, 77, was arrested Thursday for leaving the scene of an injury crash, Boynton Beach police said.
Police spokeswoman Stephanie Slater said the woman was turning right when she veered into the path of the oncoming scooter that had the right of way. The man was thrown by the impact onto the windshield and then fell to the road, she added.
Police said they later spotted the woman's car after she had her hair appointment.
Authorities said the man suffered abrasions all over his body but the injuries were not believed to be life threatening.

Do not get between a woman with gray growing out and her hair appointment. This is a lesson to all you men out there – hair crises trump abrasions.

I decide to change a few things, which will require some awkward growing out. Looked fine when she styled it, even if the bangs are a bit shorter than I like. I go to style it this morning and I can’t do shit with it. We’ll see if I make it to the new style without taking scissors to it.

At lunch I stop in Walmart to get the only yogurt I actually like (which the bastards at Kroger stopped selling.) Guess what. No. fucking. yogurt. I consoled myself with a box of Ghirardelli dark chocolate mint creams. That sounds like I ate the whole box, but I didn’t. Even if I wanted to.

Back at my desk, trying to enjoy my chocolate buzz and Captain Clueless calls. It seems he took our 120+ lb (hey, it’s his winter weight) dog out for a walk. CC wanted to tell me, in case there are police at the house when I get home, that someone’s poodle attacked our dog. My big sweetie doesn’t like strange dogs, because he was bitten by a loose dog.
I asked if there was blood.
“No.”
Serious injuries?
“Couldn’t tell. He had it pinned to the ground by the throat.”
Did it happen in their yard?
“No, on the street. It didn’t have a leash, just ran out from under a porch at us.”
I told him where the non-expired dog license was, just in case. But I’m thinking it’s the poor little shit’s owners fault.

And of course, there was a wreck on the I-75 parking lot so it took me 3 times the usual to finally get home.

So my question is, if I snarf the rest of that box of chocolate while using the elliptical and reading my book do any of the calories count?